19 Things I’ve Learned at 19

It’s my birthday!! Shower me with gifts and love! Love me! Kidding. But yeah, I’m 19 today (scary Mary), and I feel old. 

Like, I know I’m not old. I’m actually very young. I’ve loads of living left to do. But, like every other entitled and narcissistic millenial, I feel like I have a wealth of experiences to draw on at my young age.

So, here are the 19 things I’ve learned at the ripe old age of 19. You’re welcome.

1. Always Give More Than You Get

Follow this, and you’ll never be in the wrong again. Always give 110%, and you can be sure that when things go downhill, you don’t have to worry about yourself, because you did everything you possibly could

2. Cover Your Arse

Similar to the last point, but honestly will save you so much time and arguments. Just do everything the first time, and make sure you think of everything before charging in.

3. If Possible, Take the High Road

It makes you look better. But, if they really hurt you, aint nothing wrong with getting it off your chest.

4. Don’t Be Petty

It’s ugly. You’re better than that.

5. Drink More Water!!!

6. Worrying About Money Won’t Give You More Money

Unless you are at critical situation, stop worrying about money. You’re so young. What the fuck.

7. Problem? Have a Bath

8. More Problems? Go Outside

Fresh air: it works. Who knew?

9. Laugh At Yourself, and Everyone Else Will Laugh With You 

In an awkward or embarrassing situation? Laugh it off. It’ll make everyone else comfortable, and make yourself feel better when they’re laughing with you, rather than at you.

10. Stretch More

Trust me.

11. Change Your Bedding, Do Some Dusting, and Hoover More

A clean environment makes for a clean and healthy mind.

12. Stop Playing Yourself Down To Everyone

You are interesting, you are funny, and you are pretty. I mean it. You know it, so prove it.

13. It’s Better to Be ‘Silly-Funny’ Than ‘Mean-Funny’

14. You Will Never Regret Making More Effort, You Will Only Regret Making Less

15. Stop Thinking Everything Means Something. It Doesn’t.

Sometimes shit happens, and we have to just accept it. It doesn’t have an almighty meaning, and it doesn’t count towards your karma-points. Learn from things, and move on. Stop making meaning when there isn’t any.

16. Stop Thinking Everything You Do Has To Mean Something. It Doesn’t.

You want to eat 3 cheeseburgers in a row? Go for it. You want to get a tattoo of a panda holding a rifle? Why the hell not? You want to write a book about what it’s like to be YOU? Do it. Not everything has to be Big and Meaningful.

17. Remember Your Age

You’re young. Stop thinking like an 80 year old. Do something stupid. Make mistakes. It’s okay.

18. You’re Allowed To Be Sad Sometimes

19. But Being Sad Will Get You Nowhere

Get help. Do things. Make connections. Nothing is worth feeling like it’s the end of the world, but having to smile anyway.

And there you have it. My impartial bits of wisdom that I have selflessly shared with you lot so you don’t make the same mistakes as me. But at the same time, what do I know? A year from now I could be making another one of these posts and say exactly the opposite of everything I’ve just said so… do whatever you want. Or something.

Honestly though, thank you for following me on this little blog for as long as you have, even if you haven’t for very long. I’m still working at this blogging thing (and generally this ‘life’ thing) and doing this makes things a lot more fun and interesting. I look forward to the next year of my life carrying on with this blog and meeting more of you lovely people.

Here’s to the next year (THE LAST ONE OF BEING A TEENAGER).

Jess x

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My Christmas Traditions! // Blogmas Day 12

Now we’re really getting into the festivities. As the month wears on, and the Big Day looms nearer, even the most Grinchiest of us can get a little caught up in the Christmas Spirit. And, as I’ve been feeling unusually more festive than average this year, I thought I’d get all nostalgic, and share with you guys, some of my favourite personal Christmas traditions that I partake in…

1. Putting the Star on the Tree

This is one that has stemmed from the very depths of my childhood, right up until this year (and will beyond!). It has always, religiously, been my job to put the star on our main living-room Christmas tree.

That poor star is probably as old as me, and just as battered, but as an only child, there’s no fuss about who’s going to do what every Christmas in my family. I erect the tree (oo-er), Mum embellishes it, and I put the star on top. That’s just the way it goes. And Christmas has not officially started until that star is on top of the tree. It just hasn’t.

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2. Advent Calendars

A vert popular tradition, but a tradition nonetheless. Every year, I’ll have an advent calendar. And it’s got to be chocolate. Those fancy beauty, candle, homeware, whatever they are advent calendars are cool and stuff… but they’re no match for a crappy, cheap-y chocolate advent calendar from Tescos, that you forget to open for a week. Ain’t nothing better. Here’s mine for this year (it came free in the Mail on Sunday (don’t ask, my mum gets it)):

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Isn’t it just great?

3. Christmas at Connor’s

This one’s a fairly (actually very) new tradition, but one that I hope will stand the test of time for many years into the future.

Last year (2015), I was lucky enough to spend Christmas Eve with Connor’s family (Connor being my boyfriend, for those who don’t know). They are literally my second family, and I don’t know what I’d do without them sometimes. They have been so good to me, and letting me spend a special family-oriented day with them every year is just one of the reasons why I am so grateful. Last year was spent baking awesome Christmas goodies, talking a winter-y walk on the beach, and the longest ever game of Monopoly. But I wouldn’t change a moment of it, and I can’t wait to see what this year – and every year in the future – holds for that special day.

4. Christmas Eve Presents

So, after spending Christmas Eve with Connor and his lovely family, on Christmas Eve night, I go home to Mum and we chat, have tea, watch Christmas stuff on the telly, and then we have our own little cheeky tradition. We open one present each, just before bed.

It’s bad, I know, but we can’t help ourselves. And we always help each other out with what to open, if we know what the other has got. We both like to try and find something we can use that night, like a new pair of PJs, slippers, or a DVD to watch before bed. It’s just something we’ve always done, to get excited for the day ahead of us, and it’s something we’ve shared for as long as I can remember.

5. Santa’s Snacks

Then, as Christmas Eve draws to a close, and it’s almost time for bed, eyes are getting tired and we just can’t stay awake any more, Mum and I will start to set out Santa’s presents. It’s nothing big, but every year, we do exactly the same thing.

There’s the glass of milk and a plate with a mince pie or two for Santa on the dining room table, and by the door, a bowl of water and a plate with a carrot on for the reindeer that might wander in.

As childish as it is, it’s one of our most special traditions, and even last year (at the age of 17), we still did the whole rigmarole before going to bed. And then, when we wake up in the morning, the carrot is always bitten in half, the water drunk, the milk gone and just the foil wrapper of the mince pie left. And even now, at 18, I’m still going to walk downstairs and say “Wow! I can’t believe it’s gone!”, and my Mum is still going to smile and say “I know, he was hungry!”, and we’re going to carry on with Christmas Day, just like we always have.

There you go, guys! A bit more of a personal post today, but I hope you liked it! And I hope it’s maybe given you some nostalgia of your favourite Christmas traditions (let me know what they are in the comments!), and maybe to those who are starting families, given you some ideas of traditions to start with your own.

As a quick disclaimer: I’m aware that everyone celebrates differently, and that many do not celebrate at all. That is perfectly okay, and I hope you guys have a nice winter! As for those who do celebrate, but strictly religiously, I hope not to cause any offence with my traditions, and I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas.

Have a good evening guys, and see you tomorrow for the next day of blogmas!

Jess

 

 

Looking Up

This was a post I made approximately two years ago, some time during 2013. I know only this as Tumblr has this funny way of not telling me the date that I posted something. Thanks, Tumblr.

“I have come to a realization. I will wake up every day for the rest of my life being me. There’s no way that can possibly change, in fact it’s the only one thing you can be certain about in life. You will wake up and be you. You will wake up and maybe the way you think, the way you dress, the way you act will have changed but YOU WILL NOT CHANGE. You can’t be someone else, it’s physically impossible.

 So I’ve come to a decision. 

 I don’t have to love myself, or even like myself. I don’t have to love the bald patches in my hair and the gaps in my lashes, I don’t have to adore the little too much leg fat or belly fat, I don’t have to cherish my bumpy nose or my round chin or my too-big gums. But I have to deal with them. There’s no point being unhappy with something you can’t change. And, if you think about it, there’s no point in being unhappy about the things you CAN change either. If you are unhappy about something that you can change – change it.

If you are unhappy, you’re going through a hard time, you hate who you are or what you look like, I’m sorry but you can’t change that. So you might as well stop worrying, because everyone is thinking the same.

There is no point in being upset about who you are. You can’t change. So love it, be proud of it. That thing you’re good at, you might not have been so good at it if that thing hadn’t happened, or you hadn’t looked or felt or thought that way. 

The only thing you need to change is your outlook. As soon as you decide that no, fuck this, I don’t have to feel this way, everything will get one million times better. I promise. 

Sure, you might have bad days, who doesn’t? A bad day doesn’t mean a bad life, and I can’t stress that enough. 

If you are stressed, upset, angry, depressed, suicidal, feeling anything bad at all, even just a little annoyed: you don’t have to be. 

You were happy once, it can happen again. I promise you. I love you.”

I found this looking back through my other blog, at a time when I was really struggling. The words I said as a 15 year old are exactly the same as the type of thing I try to continue to enforce to myself, and other people, today. It was, as you can see, very optimistic. And naive. I know that, and past me knew it too. But it’s the right sentiment, right? It’s not unreachable? The happiness I was trying (am still trying) (and probably will continue for a while) to reach? It’s attainable. I hope.

From the point at which that post was written, I’ve done a million and one new things and met a million and one new people that have taught me things about myself and about life that I had no idea about. And I know that two years from now (hopefully I’ll be in university at this point) there’ll be an infinite amount of other things that I’ll have learnt. I’ll never stop learning. At least, that’s the #lifegoal.

But my original point that I was trying to make over 700 days ago (wow) will always stand. I’m me and I’m not gonna change unless I do it myself. I’m working on some changes at the moment, and to be honest, I’m fairly excited. Because every change means I’m closer to finding the end result where I’m a thirty, forty, fifty-something woman who’s doing whatever the hell she wants, and is happy.

I’m not in the same place as I was then. And I’m not where I want to be. Not even close. I don’t even really know where I want to be. But I’m getting there.