To continue my little life series, I thought I’d make a post about how to start off the ‘University Journey’. Sounds nice and easy, doesn’t it? Well, we’ll see.Read More »
Ah, September. Here we are again. Back to school, back to winter coats and covering up, back to life. It’s time to dust off your text books and get back to all those horrible responsibilities. Read More »
They say “time heals all wounds” and, as much as it sucks to say, it really does. This applies to both the physical and the psychological. I mean, if you lose a leg you’re probably not getting that one back. But after some time, it won’t be bleeding any more. That’s kind of what I’m getting at here.Read More »
A few weeks ago, just before I was supposed to go and visit my first choice university for an open day, I decided to defer my place.Read More »
Today, I saw the doctor. Read More »
At the start of this academic year (about a month and a half ago), I swore to myself that this year would be different.
I swore to myself, and everyone around me (mainly to give myself more of an incentive to actually do it) that I would change. I would do all the things that everyone says they’re going to do, and never even begin. I found this very easy to say, as the summer holidays drew to a close, and the new school year came fast around the corner. For some reason the idea of starting anew as I begin a new year of my ever-decreasing education seems more achievable to me than, say, making those infamous ‘New Year Resolutions’ on January 1st.
The list of changes I wanted to incorporate this past September included things like working harder in college (as am currently in last year of A levels, this is v important), eating healthier, cutting out bad habits, cutting out even worse habits, eating better, and doing things for me. Things that I hoped would ultimately put me in the best possible place to catapult me into the future I really want for myself.
Thing is, I really want these things. I really, desperately want to be that kind of person that everyone hates because they just have their shit together (excuse my french). I want to be the person that rocks up to the gym at 5am, works out intensely, looking amazing while doing so, then has hardcore study sessions, and on top of that, has a great social life to brag about.
Of course, all that is the stuff of cheesy business-man films and even those people who seem to have it all together on Instagram don’t actually have their lives together to that extent. On top of that, I had to realize at some point that even if I had all that, I wouldn’t necessarily be better of, or even happier.
So I had to make compromises. I still struggle with concentration and motivation (hence why I’m writing this blog post and not my comprehension questions for media) and I still have those terrible habits, like long lie ins and too much chocolate. But I am trying. And, she adds proudly, seeing improvements.
I’ve seen improvements in my body (being more awake/alert, getting fitter from cheer-leading), my brain (focusing more, motivated with my college work) and my emotional/mental health (which is still fluctuating, but really, I’m trying). And it’s nice to see.
Not to mention I’ve done a lot. For myself, that is. I’ve started my university applications, made doctors and dentist appointments (very helpful with recovering from anxiety issues) and trying to stay with the right social circle that are going to support and motivate me to carry on with this good behaviour (still working out the kinks).
What I’ve found with this whole re-inventing/improving yourself malarky, is not to cut and paste an entirely new persona all at once. It’s about making small, doable changes, and once you’ve achieved them, working on the next thing. One step at a time.
I can do this…
Who is the right type of friend? How do we know who are the ones who deserve our friendship? What crosses the line between a few flaws that we learn to love, and being a bad friend? And how do we know we aren’t the bad friends?
Friendship is a strange one. Romantic love, understandable. I mean in nature, many animals mate for life. You know, soul mates and all that. Family love is the same, we protect our kind because we have to to survive. But friendship… what even is it?
It’s the people we get along with, that help us get through the day. Make us laugh, give us advice and help when we’re down. The people we don’t get bored of and can be ourselves with. Isn’t it?
I’m recently finding out it’s not always that simple.
Friends can be that. Those are the best friends. The people you can see yourself living with, and maybe you do. The ones that you have the amazing, hilarious stories with that only you find funny. Or at least they’re the people you could make those memories with.
But they can also be any combination of any of those things. They could be all, or just a few. There can be friends that after a few days together, you can absolutely despise, only to make up again after a little breather. You might have friends that you really don’t agree with. The ones who believe absolute rubbish about this and that and are always totally wrong, but at the same time, they make you laugh more than anyone else. The ones that maybe you can’t be your complete self with, but you like the parts you can show them. The ones that really get on your last nerve, but also push you to be the best person you can.
Friendships are so interchangeable. And sometimes more dangerous than romantic relationships. They can be just as volatile or abusive, they can be just as exciting. A new friendship, when you get on well but aren’t sure whether you could really commit to being, you know, besties, is like the first date. It’s like the first kiss. You’re testing them out, seeing if you fit together.
Everyone always says that friendships are far more important than partners, far more important than family, because these are the ones you pick and choose carefully. The ones that need to be there when stuff with everyone else goes balls-up. So choose your friend’s wisely.
There are, like I’ve mentioned, a lot of stuff that can make or break a friendship. In all honesty, my advice is just to stick with the ones that make you feel like a good person, and make you want to be an even better person. You’ll be a lot happier.