My last post was a little rant-y, and I didn’t mean it to be. If I came across as miserable and a downer on New Years, I apologize. Like I said, I really do get it, I understand it. So to backtrack and join the camaraderie, here’s a list of stuff I’d like to do or improve on in the next year. Some will be personal, some general, but maybe at the start of 2017 I can look back and say I’ve become a happier person. Let’s hope so!
I’m not one to make rash, rebellious decisions (usually).
However, last week, in a spur of the moment, I got my nose pierced. Well, I say spur of the moment, it was over the course of a few days deliberation. Which is pretty spur of the moment for me.Read More »
As I explained in my last post (which you can read here!), I’ve had to keep myself busy over the past few months, in a number of ways. And this may be the most obvious and stupid blog post ever written but, here are numerous ways that I have learnt to keep myself doing something, and not having a mental breakdown! Enjoy!Read More »
It feels like for the longest time now, I’ve just not stopped?
Not in the way of ‘I’ve not slept in weeks’ or ‘I’ve been incredibly busy doing this huge personal project’ or anything massive like that. It just kind of feels like for a few months now, I haven’t really let myself think.
I don’t tend to be alone very much any more. I don’t tend to sit and do nothing much. I keep myself extremely busy. And there is a reason for this.Read More »
Am currently sat, wondering how on earth to start this blog post. I know what I want it to be about, and roughly what I should mention… but how to start?
How do I introduce to, possibly total strangers, what I struggle with on a daily basis? How do I accurately explain to those reading (admittedly, not many), something that I feel defines me so? Where do I even begin?
Maybe from the beginning? Might be an idea?
So in about an hour or so, I have a job interview with a very large company that is based in my town. I won’t name any names (but if I was it would be a cosmetics company that rhymes with “RUSH”), but needless to say I am very, very nervous about this.Read More »
At the start of this academic year (about a month and a half ago), I swore to myself that this year would be different.
I swore to myself, and everyone around me (mainly to give myself more of an incentive to actually do it) that I would change. I would do all the things that everyone says they’re going to do, and never even begin. I found this very easy to say, as the summer holidays drew to a close, and the new school year came fast around the corner. For some reason the idea of starting anew as I begin a new year of my ever-decreasing education seems more achievable to me than, say, making those infamous ‘New Year Resolutions’ on January 1st.
The list of changes I wanted to incorporate this past September included things like working harder in college (as am currently in last year of A levels, this is v important), eating healthier, cutting out bad habits, cutting out even worse habits, eating better, and doing things for me. Things that I hoped would ultimately put me in the best possible place to catapult me into the future I really want for myself.
Thing is, I really want these things. I really, desperately want to be that kind of person that everyone hates because they just have their shit together (excuse my french). I want to be the person that rocks up to the gym at 5am, works out intensely, looking amazing while doing so, then has hardcore study sessions, and on top of that, has a great social life to brag about.
Of course, all that is the stuff of cheesy business-man films and even those people who seem to have it all together on Instagram don’t actually have their lives together to that extent. On top of that, I had to realize at some point that even if I had all that, I wouldn’t necessarily be better of, or even happier.
So I had to make compromises. I still struggle with concentration and motivation (hence why I’m writing this blog post and not my comprehension questions for media) and I still have those terrible habits, like long lie ins and too much chocolate. But I am trying. And, she adds proudly, seeing improvements.
I’ve seen improvements in my body (being more awake/alert, getting fitter from cheer-leading), my brain (focusing more, motivated with my college work) and my emotional/mental health (which is still fluctuating, but really, I’m trying). And it’s nice to see.
Not to mention I’ve done a lot. For myself, that is. I’ve started my university applications, made doctors and dentist appointments (very helpful with recovering from anxiety issues) and trying to stay with the right social circle that are going to support and motivate me to carry on with this good behaviour (still working out the kinks).
What I’ve found with this whole re-inventing/improving yourself malarky, is not to cut and paste an entirely new persona all at once. It’s about making small, doable changes, and once you’ve achieved them, working on the next thing. One step at a time.
I can do this…